Question

你最好的朋友Jack最近迷上電腦，因此常常熬夜，疏忽課業，并受到父母的指責。你打算寫一封信給他,適當地給予勸告。

注意： 1.詞數100左右，開頭語已為你寫好；  

2.可以適當增加細節，以便行文連貫；

3.答案必須寫在答題卡相應的位置上。

Dear Jack,

How have you been recently? ________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

                                                                       Sincerely Yours,

                                                                              Jill

 

Answer 1

【答案】

 

Dear Jack,

How have you been recently? I know that you have gotten so addicted to video games that you often stay up late and ignore your studies. As your best friend, I believe that I have the responsibility to give you some advice.

As you might have discovered, video games can have quite a few negative impacts on your life. First, lacking sleep, you may often nod off in class. Therefore, you may not be able to concentrate on what the teacher is saying. You may have found yourself falling behind and having a hard time catching up in your studies. In addition, it seems that you have become a mouse potato and forgotten the benefits of playing sports.

I really miss the happy times with you on the basketball court, and you do need some exercise. Please do not indulge yourself in video games anymore. How about meeting in the park this Sunday? I look forward to your reply!

Sincerely Yours,

Jill

【解析】

試題分析：本文是一篇提綱作文。寫好本篇書面表達要過好下列幾關：1.準確表達題干中所明確的要點(迷上電腦, 常常熬夜，疏忽課業, 父母的指責，給予勸告)；2.怎么勸告：要圍繞上述明確的要點去展開：迷上電腦對生活的負面影響；熬夜的影響(課上打瞌睡，注意力不集中)；參加體育鍛煉，不要再沉迷于電腦等等。3.注意表達的時態是現在范疇的時態，不要涉及過去時，以免造成表達上時間的混亂。

【亮點說明】范文第一段緊緊圍繞題干中所明確的要點展開：用“I know that you have gotten so addicted to video games that you often stay up late and ignore your studies.” 一句話幾乎囊括了要表達的要點。要是在該句后面再加上一句“And because of this you have been scolded by your parents.”就更好了。然后用了非常得體的話“As your best friend, I believe that I have the responsibility to give you some advice.”自然而然地過渡下一段，使得段落之間聯系緊密。范文第二段用“First，Therefore，In addition”三個關聯詞語把作者的意思表達得非常清楚，很有層次感。“a mouse potato(網蟲，網迷)”讓讀者讀來忍俊不禁。第三段作者將自己的建議又推向了一個新的高度。本篇范文實屬上乘之作。

考點：文字提綱式作文